Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Alt-Text From Dinosaur Comics #3

My actions were once charged with symbolism, long ago.
When I turned off episodes of Will and Grace, it meant something, damn it.
When I went into the kitchen and unwrapped granola bars, entire worlds of question were opened in all the major universities as to what implications the subtext of my movements had.
Then I moved to Seattle.
Please do not doubt me when I say it is a wonderful city. The people are kind and the space needle is as tall as I had hoped it would be, but something in the physics is different here.
No longer can I walk down the hallway of my office building holding a stack of papers without bumping into a coworker of the opposite gender and having said papers scatter hilariously to the floor as we lock eyes. No longer can I lose my wallet in a taxi cab and not have it returned to me the next day by an heartwarmingly adorable accident prone copyeditor who gets into the cab after I leave. When I am at check out stands, I fear going close to the take a penny leave a penny tray, dare my hand accidently meet that of a quirky, wonderful, 20 to 30 something looking for another chance at life.
I have moved to a Romantic Comedy, and I believe there is no way out. I could try leaving, but I fear I will only be setting up the plot for one of those long distance relationship movies. No, I am afraid I must stay here and make the best of it.
It might not be so terrible, adapting this new kind of life. I took my dog for a walk in the park the other day, and only once or twice did he find an energetic legal counselor on a journey of self discovery to accidentally tangle up in his leash.
Also there was a doctor.
I apologized on all three incidents and the rest of the walk went on uneventfully.


  1. I'm back! And school is over! Grades for my freshman year were good if anyone was curious! And by anyone I probably mean myself since nobody comments on this blog execpt for me and also Lawrence that one time...
    Anyway, I am finishing up Dinosaur Comics week. It only seemed appropriate I not leave my only webcomic based week so far just hanging back in January. It would be like building a bridge to the future and stopping in 1977.
    We all know the future didn't start until sometime in the 80s.

  2. but when did the future start? was it 1982, when a little, lovable traveler with no way to get home showed up on the doorstep of a boy in need of a friend? Or was it earlier in 1980 when the Empire struck back? Or perhaps it was even in 1985 when Doc was in a race against time to save reality as we know it... and himself?
    I think this one is my favorite because the idea behind it is so hilarious. Let's make a movie, Sam, let's make this a silver screen reality! It would be great. John Cusack (maybe he's a little old, and hot tub time machine already made the gratuitous cusack 80's movie reference thing, so maybe someone younger? like... zac effron or that kid from adventureland/zombieland?) moves to Seattle- the city of romantic comedy- and, well, it's right here. I'm not sure how it would end, but I know it will be a movie I'd see.