Wednesday, March 31, 2010

First 7 Words of IMDB's Description of a John Candy Movie #3: Canadian Bacon

“The U.S. President, low in the opinion polls.”
“Oliver, we’ve discussed this, you need to use verbs in your sentences.”
“Erudite Untitled Game Show Concept, an outraged public indeed.”
“Oliver, has someone been letting you watch the television that keeps cutting out every few moments?”
“The unfortunate flooding, also with delicious cinnamon batter.”
“Oliver, this is not how people talk. You are educating yourself incorrectly.”
“Pink and bold, an understandable coffee pot mishap.”
“Oliver, I swear to you, I don’t know how this happened but I will someday figure out how to teach you proper syntax again.”
“You don’t need to start every damned sentence with Oliver, you know. My name is Herbert.”
“And… scene.” I said, turning towards the judges’ table. Normally, my surrealistic one act plays were less than well received when performed in anything approaching a public space, but I had a good feeling about this one. My scene partner and I got up from the floor as the judges deliberated. Two of them I did not recognize.
Also there was a doctor. He was my doctor, and also the third judge, which struck me as odd.


  1. Practice these lines of dialogue with your friends so that you may perform this scene in public somewhere! For fun!

  2. I noticed for a moment, I had the grammatically appropriate comma in there. I apologize. I will try to make sure it does not occur again.