“I couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to me sooner. The sunrise was the trigger. When the first light of morning hit Phoenix, everything and everyone involved in the Lanesboro experiment would turn active. Short of stopping the earth’s rotation there was nothing I could do about it.
So that is what I decided to do. I decided to stop the Earth.
It was going to be difficult, sure, but just how difficult I had no idea.”
-Detective Reginald Grant (9/14/81)
“So as it turns out, my whole ‘stop the Earth’ thing was kind of not a great idea. I spoke to some scientists last night and there were some things I wasn’t really aware of regarding physics that I now am. Long story short, I wasn’t able to prevent the trigger and the experiment’s participants are already beginning to display strange behavior.
I fear for the safety of the public where my actions have failed.”
-Detective Reginald Grant (9/15/81)
“Well, apparently, the public is going to be just fine. What I thought was strange behavior was actually just a boatload of people laughing at me whenever I brought up the supposed experiments. It was recently explained to me by my partner that there in fact, was no Lanesboro experiment and this was all done as a bit of a practical joke by the guys back at the station. Several people were in on it. Mystery solved I guess; I can certainly take a joke. My only grievance is that they couldn’t have found humor in something that didn’t waste both my time and resources as a valued member of the police force of this city.”
-Detective Reginald Grant (9/16/81)
“Okay so, hey, I’m apparently not a detective and actually just a guy whose friends lie to him a lot. There go the past five years of my life. Also turns out the police station was really not a police station and an Arby’s instead. It is maybe kind of my own fault for not noticing this sooner.
Also there was a doctor. I’d been going to him for the last few years for my police physicals but it turns out he wasn’t a doctor, he was just some guy they found working at the Arby’s.”
-"Detective" Reginald Grant (9/17/81)
It was sort of unintentional, but the first line could basically sum up this guy's entire life.
ReplyDeleteI...sort of want to write about him again in the future.
Thanks go out to Kyle LaFleur, who can wrangle sheep like nobody's business.
It is nobody's business.
I kind of love this absolutely. Brilliant, sam, brilliant. Please do write more about him at some point.
ReplyDelete<3 Brooke, who doesn't feel like logging onto anything right now.